Backblogging... Easter Sunday at the Beach

Again.... I am behind. No excuses.

This Easter Monte was away on a business trip and it was HOT. The kids and I went to church then decided to hit the road and see how many other people decided to hide their eggs in the sand. We had a lovely time... though I am fairly certain if God had given us an 11th commandment, it would have gone something like this ....

"Thou shalt NOT eat McDonald's on Easter Sunday!"

But we did. Twice.

I justified it this way... Mama was making memories... not sandwiches.

Arrrgghh.... the Two's Room Be Over ....

It's the last week of preschool for the year. Sniff.

Cooper is wrapping up his 2 yr old year with Pirate Week.

I love preschool. It allows me to go to work and be my "pre-children" self for a few hours a week. But more than that, it allows my kids to grow, and be active, and learn, and become more independent. Plus, they get to do all kinds of fun things that I don't have the creative spark (or patience) to do. Homemade bird feeders and tye-dye? Those are "preschool only" activities. After all, what fun would Ms. J and Ms. L have if all of you had "already done that" at home?

This two year old class was a big gamble. Cooper had just turned two, we had just moved, and I was still grieving the loss of the "known" preschool at home. But I believe God left that ONE opening just for us... and He knew what we needed.

Cooper and I fell in love with the preschool... the entire staff. It's now our church home. It's gone from "the new" to "the known" and we are thankful for what it has given us. I just hope they don't expect any tye-dye coffee filter projects over the summer....

Daddy Envy

Admittedly, there are numerous things that I just don't fully comprehend. Gravity, nuclear power, middle eastern politics, people who don't like chocolate, red wine drinkers... and the whole and all-encompassing power of the DADDY.

At our house, I can spend the ENTIRE day throwing balls, cutting out playdough, baking cookies and speaking in all of the voices from Wonder Pets....but when the DADDY walks through the door...all bets are off. When he asks them what they did all day, they (often) shrug their collective shoulders and say "....nothing."

WHAT?!

It doesn't even start when he walks in the door. Often it starts when they spot his car, hear the garage door, or (God forbid) read the clock on the microwave that indicates he MIGHT be home soon. The looks on their faces when they see him reminds me of the looks in the kids' faces when they finally reached Willie Wonka's chocolate factory. Every day.

Don't get me wrong... I love that they love him. I don't blame them. He is a FAN-tastic daddy and lots of fun. He has endless patience for multiple books, lengthy backscratches, tickle contests and pillow fights. Of course, he doesn't need to race downstairs to answer emails about donations for school projects, RSVP to birthday parties, organize carpool or arrange playdates.

He doesn't covet bedtime like I do... maybe because he hasn't been with a two year old for the past 10 hours. Or because he hasn't done homework, cleaned out backpacks, assigned chores, signed consent forms, and found and laundered the class shirts that have to be worn on the field trip the next day. Before dinner.

I thought this phenomena was unique to my house. Until I mentioned it to my friends... and neighbors. It turns out this Daddy-Mania is an epidemic sweeping the nation. 9/10 families "surveyed" feel like the mom is consistently the taskmaster while Daddy tends to be "the fun parent." In fact, several people noted a recent episode of Modern Family that addresses this very issue. I am going to find that on Hulu for sure.

And while we love and are eternally grateful for our partners and the support they give us..and again, we are not suggesting we trade places with the Daddys....all moms I spoke with said they would just LOVE to be welcomed home after grocery shopping by their children with a rapture-like chorus of "MOMMY'S HOME." Instead of the usual ...." Did you ONLY buy the healthy cereal?"

So come one fellas... give us the secret. What's in that Daddy mojo? Can we get just a little bit of it?

Until then....I guess we will just say thank you to the Daddys in our lives, accept our fate, and chuck it up to "things we'll never fully understand."

Happy 8th Birthday Grayson!!!

It's funny how some years just seem to have a large amount of change built into them. Some birthdays are just milemarkers that tell you just how fast time has gone... and how your children are morphing into more self-reliant people. Smarter, more independent, more self-assured, with a sense of humor that is more and more unique to them.

From seven to eight has been a year like that for you. We are excited to watch your soccer games, swim meets and neighborhood football scrimmages. Your brother idolizes your every move.. and (most of the time) you are very patient with him. You are a good friend ... and the group of you is always good for a laugh. And a pile of empty food wrappers. And dirty laundry.

When you read this, who knows how old you will be... and if you will even care what you were like at age eight. But I care... and I want to remember. So here we go.

You...

*love music

* are taking guitar lessons

*can swim competitively

*love soccer but not sure if you want to do it in a structured league

* like your hair longer than I like it

* live to play outside with your friends

*are best friends with your siblings...mostly

* can eat an infinite number of tacos at Taco Bell

*are reading the Harry Potter series

*are starting to notice girls... but not "liking them"...

*would sooner have a limb amputated than do homework

*read Sports Illustrated for Kids cover to cover

*would live at the beach if you could

We love you and are so proud of you. Happy 8th birthday buddy!

Mom and Dad

The art gene...

There are some traits the kids have that are obviously from Monte or me. The hair, the dimples, the sarcasm...those are all things we can attribute to family members...immediate or otherwise.

But there is one gene that Emma (and recently Claire) has always had that we can't place.

It's her art gene.

She has it. We don't.

We admire it ... we are inspired by it... and want to cultivate it. But since we don't have one, we often just don't know quite what to do with it.

That's why we are forever thankful for art teachers like Mrs. Hoffman... who reach out and touch students who have a love of art, a potential for passion.... and art-impaired parents.

Happy Mother's Day...2011

I am blessed to have a mother...be a mother...and know mothers....as well as mothers to be.

Many women of different ages, ethnicities, origins, religion, circumstances and situations have crossed my path over my 40 years. All have shaped me into the woman and mother I am today. All have had a lesson to pass along in some way... and for that, I am grateful.

I am thankful every day for the four blessings God has brought into our lives and especially today, when they joyfully bring me overflowing coffee cups, hand-drawn pictures, heartfelt cards and their best behavior (for half the day anyway). I know it won't always be this way. But today it is.

Many women who have graced my life and touched my heart are not celebrating in the same way I am today. Some have unborn children. Others can not hold their children today. Some don't have the monetary options or support to buy groceries for a favorite meal.

It doesn't make them any less a mother.

God bless those of us who have been graced with this tremendous task. It is as close to God's work as we will ever come.

From the girls in our house to those in yours,

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Emma... A Letter on Your 10th Birthday....

Ten years ago today... almost to the minute I sit down to write this, we welcomed you into our lives. You showed your personality early (spunky, verbal, inquisitive...and a bit stubborn) and it remains true to this day. We thought we were proud of you then....we are more so now.

I thought I'd take a minute to sit down and scribble out who you are today. While I imagine your core personality won't change so much in the years to come, it is just as much for me as it is you. Time seems to be flying so quickly...it helps to just "freeze" a few moments in time.

Today, you take piano lessons. You play in the bell choir at church and can't wait to become eligible for the youth group. You enjoy girl scouts and your troop and have asked to go to horse camp with friends here in North Carolina.

Today, you still enjoy swim teams and want to try volleyball when you are able to. Outside is still your preferred location over anywhere else. Beachside with a book is your ideal vacation spot.

Today, you are creative. You love to paint, draw, sew, design and write. You recently started a blog all by yourself. You've asked for a mannequin that you can dress with all sorts of homemade clothes you design and sew. I'm so glad you don't need my help for that. I couldn't help you even if you needed it.

Today, you are a tremendous help with your siblings and they all look to you for support and encouragement. You are a good friend. You keep your sibling and friends close to you. You choose to keep connections dynamic and open. Your "family" is large and in many states. I think that's an amazing position to be in... and I will do whatever I can to help nurture those relationships.

Today, your party was requested to be "intimate... with international flair." We took five of your friends to The Melting Pot in Durham for cheese and chocolate fondue with a sleepover at our house. It was a fantastic time!

Today, we wish you a fantastic birthday and all the best wishes for your ten year old year.

Love,

Mom

Lighthouse Project

Emma's fourth grade lighthouse project was right in her wheelhouse. Researching, clay working, painting, measuring, etc. It's a good thing. Craftiness (in this context) is not a blessing God gave me.

As it happened, Cape Lookout is not one of the NC lighthouses she has seen in person....and since she did this much work on it, she is hopeful we will take her to see it. And I guess I should, since Monte and I were both working during her class walk-through today. Thank you to RK for the picture!

Good job Em! Proud of you!

Father Daughter Dance 2011 - NC style

Every girl should have a date with her daddy.

Emma's third Father Daughter dance with the Girl Scouts is going on right now. She's old enough now to have some say in her attire ... and shoes ... and accessories. We had a lot of fun shopping this time ...and she tried a bright new color. She thinks it's "sunny."

I think it suits her. It's neat to see the person she is becoming... the styles she leans toward, the music she listens to, the quotes she writes down, the Bible verses she memorizes. She makes very conscious choices... deliberate and careful in what and how she decides. This mind of hers...it will serve her well.

But for tonight, I have a feeling all she's thinking about is where her date will take her for dessert tonight. I'm sure he will. I can tell he's smitten with her.

Gearing Up for a Roadtrip....and a Reconnect...

We track out next week for a three week break. The three big kids can't wait to "roadtrip" with me back to Indiana for a long weekend to see their friends. It's a long haul (11 hours) and I was considering just hanging out and staying home....until I pulled out these pictures.

They want to go. Even when I tell them how long the ride is. I love the connections the kids still have with their friends. Sometimes email and phone calls and letters just don't do it. I understand. I feel the same way about my friends.

So midwest, in a few weeks... here we come. If only for a few days.

Crazy "Cane" Fans...

Like our house needed another sports addiction.

Grayson and Monte (and me too - when I get to go) have really enjoyed going to a few Carolina Hurricanes Hockey games. Tonight neighbors graciously provided us some tickets so I sent 2/3 of my boys off to the game... in their jerseys. The remaining 1/3 was not so happy about this arrangement. All in due time Cooper.

Have fun guys. The girls will be curled up on the couch...watching American Idol... with popcorn. Enjoying the silence.

My Winter Swim Medalists

Our first winter swim league meet here in North Carolina was so much fun! It was smaller, shorter, and far less stressful than the big SWAC extravaganzas... and it was just what Claire's self esteem needed to keep going.

All told, Emma, Claire and Grayson brought home fifteen ribbons and two bronze medals. Emma came in fourth place in her division and had several personal bests times. It was a tough pill for her to swallow... given the whole sibling rivalry thing... but a great life lesson.

More than their performances, we were really proud of how everyone on their team conducted themselves. As a kid-pusher for Grayson's age group, I was prepared to get my "Mom voice" out... but never had to. All the kids were respectful and well behaved.

Often, you learn far more than just sports by being on a team. Great job!

2010 In Review... A Letter to the Kids...

2010 has been over for a week... and part of me still can't let go of it. It was a year of marked change in our lives. Huge energy shifts. Relocation. New school schedule. New friends. New weather. Loss. Grief. Starting over takes a lot out of you. And it puts a lot back in.

Emma - You are growing up. Turning 10 in a few months. You are responsible, focused, and willing to take in and on new things and challenges. You get on planes and go visit your friends. You have email. You keep current on all things news related. I love that you share my taste for Asian, Indian, and Thai foods and that you are becoming really interested in healthy food options. You are ready to take on additional challenges in school...keep communicating with me girl. I am your mother first... but I am also one of your biggest fans.

Grayson - I listen to you talk to your friends, read your sports books, or talk to me on the phone and I hear a different voice lately. Deeper...with cultural references, sports terms, slang...and full of opinions...it is evident how much you have grown this year. I know this move was hard for you and we are proud of how you have handled yourself. You are a sports addict... and it is a lot of fun for us to let you stay up late watching the Colts play, taking you to a hockey game, or watching you throw around a ball in the backyard. Today someone called you "handsome." Instead of cute. I guess that means you are growing up too.

Claire - You morphed into your own person this year. You now have (and share) your opinions. You have found your own interests... and your own voice. You became a reader. And a writer. Your literacy skills are some powerful tools. Use them to make that voice heard.... because you have great stuff to share. I love that you often don't change out of your pajamas...pick out your own clothes...and rollerskate for hours inside and out. Now if you could just figure out that bike thing...

Cooper - Oh boy. I worried you would never talk. Now I worry you won't ever stop. You are a dynamo...filled with raw energy. Independent...almost to a fault. Busy...clever...but still just two. You are just on the edge of showing us who you will become...and unlike your sister, I don't EVER worry you won't find your voice. You love your daddy, your siblings, your preschool, and food with reckless abandon. You fill me up. You also wear me out. Learing to say "I wub you Mom" may have just saved your life this year. Keep working it my man.

So... new house, new school, new friends, new puppy... we've changed the energy in this family quite a bit this year. It's all very bittersweet. But... as Grayson is fond of saying, "I've got your back".... and "We are a team." We do... and we are.

Love,

Mom

Christmas 2010

At least once in a lifetime, everyone should have the kind of Christmas we had this year.

Grandparents are here, the kids sang at Christmas Eve service, there is a possibility of a white Christmas, and our family grew by four feet.

We decided this year to try to keep the "stuff" to a minimum...and try to focus on making memories. When we came home from church after Christmas Eve service, a box was wiggling and whining under the tree.

I can't wait to watch the video that Monte took... It as the kind of moment I wish I could have frozen as I couldn't watch all the kids' expressions at once. The kids welcomed our new goldendoodle puppy...Abigail Christmas Savage (Abby) with shouts, shrieks, and tears.

Monte and I welcomed her at midnight, three and six o'clock am....as anticipated. It's crazy... we know it. But I know how fast the moments fly by...and how quickly life can change. It was a once in a lifetime Christmas. We hope you had one too.

Merry Christmas ...and may God bless you with the heart of a child this new year.

Christmas Program

It just isn't Christmas (at least by Methodist standards) until you've done the Christmas program. There must be a Mary, Joseph, wise men, angels and shepherds. And, if you ARE Methodist, you know there must also be food. It has been my children's experience that church=donuts and that Christmas programs=potluck. It's as certain as sunrise.

I am thankful that we have landed in a church here that believes as we do... in the Christmas play. And the potluck. And in teaching the children (and reminding us) what Christmas is all about.

Merry Christmas!

Sometimes Christmas Comes Early...

Dear Emma, Grayson, Claire and Cooper,

I know there is a lot of hype surrounding Christmas... and not all of it is good. The shopping, the cleaning, the cooking... it can distract us from the real reason behind the season. No matter what the politically correct world we live in tries to tell you - it is about Jesus. His birth and His love.

In that spirit, Christmas came early for me this year. I'm telling you about it because I hope you make the time to do this - at least once - in your life. More often if you can. You see, it's addicting. It's Christmas.

You all have more than you need. In that, you are blessed. But you don't need it all. So I cleaned house. You didn't even notice it - that tells me I could probably do it again. And should.

I took games, toys, puzzles, and clothes - all in remarkably good shape and put it in bags - disguised as trash. I put it in my car and drove it to one of the daycares I service in Durham. The teachers knew I was coming - I had asked if I could donate some things to some kids I had noticed wear the same clothing day after day. They graciously agreed to let us help.

When I pulled up wearing my Santa hat and unloaded the bags, the teachers let the kids watch. It was a "joyful noise" as only God-led African-American southern women could do (Yes, I asked them if I could say that). I went to see a kiddo for speech while the teachers and kids sorted things out. I hadn't brought in that much ... but when I got back to the classroom 40 minutes later, it was apparent some things had changed. New toys were playing explored, clothes were being tried on, and the kids were excited about a little bit of something new in their day. And the teachers were grateful.

You see, that's my point. It doesn't have to be a lot. Or new. But doing something for someone else CHANGES things. It may give someone something they didn't have before. I guarentee it will give you something even better. The feeling I get every time I compliment a little girl on her "new dress" that immediately brings to mind you wearing it... takes my breath away.

You might disagree with this next statement because of your ages. But I can tell you with absolute certainty... if Santa didn't bring another present this year, Christmas still came to our house...just a little early.

Love,

Mom

Girl Scout Thin Mint Recipe

Dear Friends,
It is only because I love you (and I can no longer make them in knee deep snow with Mary Jo in Wisconsin) that I am imparting to you my GSTM recipe. I regret I no longer have the original... but it was no good anyway. Savage kids, if you save any of my recipes, save this one.

Ingredients - Ghiradelli melting and candymaking chocolate- Sam's is the best place to get this... only available in 2.5 lb blocks at Christmastime. Do NOT get the cheap waxy melting chocolate. It is not worth the effort. Peppermint extract. Get two if you can find them as they sell out this time of year. Ritz crackers. Circles... not snowflake. The corners break off. Low-salt variety is the best but reg is fine too.

Melt choc. slowly in a double boiler. I use a smaller pan inside a big pan filled with water. Do not allow water to boil and stir frequently as you don't want it to scorch. Break 2.5 block into smaller pieces and melt that way. When choc. pot is 3/4 full, take off heat and add 3-4 tsp ppmt extract. Do the taste test. I like mine minty as I find some of the extract evaporates in the heat. Stir well. Put in cracker horizonatally...flip with fork so both sides are covered and take out (with fork) and place on wax paper on cookie sheet. Use wax paper so cookies don't stick. When you have a sheetful, put in freezer or outside for 10-15 minutes until almost (or) frozen. Not only are they easier to deal with when frozen, but they taste better this way... as well GSTM connieseurs know.

Make a bunch and freeze them. They make excellent ice cream sandwiches for summer and I have been known to use some crushed as ice cream topping. If there are any left over that is...

If you make them and love them, let me know. If you don't love them, it must be operator error!

Proud of You Guys ....

Dear Emma, Grayson, and Claire,

We've been here in North Carolina almost six months now. I know how hard it was for you to leave. I know where part of your heart still is. I realize your school was comfortable and familiar and that you knew what was expected of you.

But I want you to know how proud I am of you. You have risen to the occasion on so many levels. You have stretched and grown in ways I hadn't expected. You are stronger than you know.

I am especially proud of your efforts at school. All of you are gifted differently ... and I am happy to see you utilizing them. While grades are important ... equally as important are the character traits described by your teachers. Academics are only a (small) part of who makes you who you are. A kind and giving spirit will always give you more happiness than straight A's.

Thank you for believing in yourselves and in us as a family. We know we've rocked your world a few times. Thank you for rocking ours.

Love,
Mom and Dad

A Break From Regularly Scheduled Programming ...

to bring you this conversation I had with Emma this morning. It was a totally typical morning.. cereal bowls, messes made by toddler, morning chores and the "litany" of things to get accomplished today. Emma stopped me and said "Mom, when you are a grownup, who decides what things get done first?"

I said, "I do." And kept going. Faster, as the clocked ticked closer to the time I needed everyone out the door for school.

"So ... God doesn't tell you? I thought He told you everything." ( Note ... this is in response to the "hard questions" as they come up. My "go-to" answer is always God. This is not in reference to my superior praying skills or Bible reading. Not even close.)

I stopped. No good answer there. Because He does tell me what to do first. I just don't always listen. Dishes before Prayer? Girl Scouts (or any other after school activity) before filling my Operation Christmas Child Shoe Box ... still sitting there from Sunday?

I searched her face for sarcasm. She's 9. It happens. There was none. She was simply curious. How does a grownup choose what to do first? How to fill their day? How to spend their money?

I searched my heart for the answers I knew where there. God does tell me. I just don't always listen. So that's what I told her.

On that note ... while I am completely "out there" ... there is a little girl orphaned in China with a heart defect. I got an email about her months ago and prayed she would find her family. She hasn't yet. If you are reading this and this stirs something in your soul, let me know and I can get you her information.

Thanks to Emma, this is getting out there instead of the Halloween decorations getting put away. I guess that's what God wanted me to do first.

Halloween 2010

Belated Boos to everyone from the south - where we wore our flip flops on Halloween!

We started the day missing old "haunts" from the midwest ... but rallied in time to trick or treat in the neighborhood. It didn't take Cooper long to figure out what that was all about ... and he was out and about far longer than we anticipated! His candy bag weighed as much as he does ... apparently because nobody could resist the 2 yr old elephant charm.

Emma was a hippie, Grayson was a ghoul, Claire dressed as a "good witch" and Cooper wore the elephant costume yet again. Old habits die hard. It will be difficult to retire that costume as it has been worn many years with love. Chocolate covered blessings to you all ...