Dear Santa

I know that by now you have received all the letters from the kids. Please take exception to Emma's handwriting and Grayson and Claire's spelling and syntactical errors. The little two are new at this.

For the most part, the kids have all been good this year. Cooper is doing exceptionally well with sleeping through the night so he gets extra credit. Please continue your tradition of writing them a letter back and leaving it with their presents. Feel free to put in a paragraph about room for improvement. I would be happy to provide you with suggestions - just email me. I don't do texting.

As for me, it's difficult to come up with anything I would like - as I already have everything I could ever need with this incredible family I have right here in this house. However, as a glutinous citizen of the USA and natural born capitalist, there ARE a few things I could put down on my list.

1. Self-flushing toilet
2. Toilet paper roll dispenser that only gives as much tp as needed for 4, 5 and 7 year old bottoms (sold as an accessory to #1)
3. Thighs like Beyonce
4. An all night hair salon (it can't be just me that requires a three hour appt - carving that amount of time during the day just isn't easily done)
5. About five more hours built into every day (during which time the kids are asleep, my husband is awake, and all my favorite stores are open)

Oh - one more thing. Thank you for giving Sarah and Kevin their most amazing Christmas gift ever.