It's Official... They Have a Tip Jar!

The neighborhood band has stepped up their game.  They now have a tip jar.  So far they welcome any type of "green", loose change, spare cookies ... and assorted treats from dog walkers in the neighborhood.  Few have been able to resist their charms.  I love these kids and their imaginatons!

Why I Love Cooper's New School....

It's not like I am unexperienced at preschools.  After all, this is preschool number four in as many states.  But I am pretty blown away by this new one ... and here is why.

It is a Montessori school.  Truth be told, I wasn't really sure how that would go ...it sounded a bit "granola" to me, but what the heck?  I am not the one who has to wrangle all those kids...whatever works for you.  Well... it turns out their method is not only effective but pretty zen.  A certain four year old boy that is still adjusting to a move and a newly employed mother could use a little zen.  I admit to reading up a bit on this Maria Montessori.  Cool lady.... WAY ahead of her time.  I can relate =)

It is intergenerational.  It is inside of a retirement community that houses everything from independent senior living to assisted living to a skilled nursing facility.  This place has a beauty parlor, radio station, restaurants and farmers markets..... and a preschool. 

The classroom are adjacent to a therapy gym ... where (all my therapy friends can attest) ALOT of action takes place.  Those smart therapists use the classroom to "lure" their clients to come down and read to the kids, demonstrate yoga poses, or feed the ducks with very enthusiastic helpers.  As a therapist, I marvel at the way weight-shifting, balance work, or gait training become much more FUNctional within the contexts of "playing with" the children. 

The kids gain so much as well....a grandparent figure, exposure (and reduced fear) to walkers, wheelchairs and people who like to ruffle their hair.  These "buddies" are kind, patient, and have a wealth of information to impart.  They also like to have snacks and frequent the restroom.... according to that same certain four year old boy. =)

There are trains (indoors and out), gardens (fully tended to by children and "buddies" alike) and paved trails outside for all to enojoy.  I hear about cooking, play dough work, and book reading.  The fact that these activities are shared with people who differ in age by 70-80 years is an added bonus.  It means a lot to me that older men are sharing with my boy the value of a strong handshake and how to speak more loudly so all may hear you.  Those are life skills ... and experience is a strong teacher.

 So...when I feel badly about leaving him to go work with other people's children, I do know he is in excellent hands.  Many hands, older hands, patient hands, and wrinkled hands ... but someone is holding his.  Until I can. 

Cooper's First Day at Mapleknoll

Look at this face.

This is his "I am going to cry any minute because it's my first day of all day preschool in a new place" face.

The kind of face that makes mothers question everything....maybe just one more day home with mom wouldn't hurt ... right?

We went.  We got into the car and drove to school.  The entire way there I anticipated his crying at dropoff...and my jubilance at having the house (finally quiet) conducive to my working from home today.  I braced myself... knowing full well that he would tear up, cling, cry, or wail.  I would remain steadfast... supportive, smiling, encouraging.  I, after all, was not a rookie. This is child number four.  I am a veteran.

We "veteran mothers" know how this story REALLY ended.

He got out, grabbed the teacher's hand ... and walked in.  Not.a.tear.

I, however, cried all the way home.

The house is quiet.  Folders are stacked in front of me and I am ready to crank out reports.  But ....I keep hearing him call my name for a snack.  I check his school calendar to see what he is doing right now.  The radio is on to tune out the quiet. 

Guess I am still a rookie after all.

A Whole Lot of "News" to Report......

Whew.  We've been busy.  Not blogging but .... sellling, buying, packing, moving, unpacking, laughing, crying, comforting, meeting, greeting, and organizing.  In a nutshell, it's been a crazy ride making our hopefully final move to Wyoming, OH from Cary, NC.

While we had grown to really enjoy NC and felt like we had found "our people" ... we didn't like the idea of moving the kids again later on down the road.  It was becoming apparent just how important friends are to the "tween" crowd.  Time is rushing by so quickly.  Did we really want to maintain a split calendar in Wake County?  What age is the "right time" to move?  Do we want to stay in NC permanently?  Is that the right thing professionally?  Personally?  So....we started the "what if" game.  It quickly turned into the "how soon can you get here" game.  And here we went again.

I can't say this experience was a smooth as the others.  It certainly lasted much longer, the house selling was far more dramatic (70+ showings in 120 days), and it was far harder to actually leave than we thought it would be.  And being a single parent for six months led to a lot of blood, sweat, tears, prayers, chocolate, and wine.  But we did it.  Again.   God gave us the strength and the support and just the right people for the job.

So here we are in a village just outside of Cincinnati, OH.  We did far more research on this than we had previously.  We had a bit more time ... and we don't plan to go anywhere else for a long time.   So... this move was important.  We knew what we hoped to find...great public schools (who really wants to finance four kids in private schools?), small community, walkability, proximity to a larger city, diverse demographics and neighborhoods.  You know, true neighborhoods with houses that are as diverse as the people in them.

We found it.  Our house is "new construction" for this village... it is 40 yrs old.  There are fewer than 10,000 people that live here ... and I will just bet we will meet every last one before long.  The kids walk or ride their bikes to the elementary, middle and high school from our house.  No school bus rides... sorry guys.  The neighbors call you when your kid isn't wearing a helmet.  Or crosses the street without a crossing guard.  The librarian erases your debt because your movie went undetected (and hence unreturned) in an unpacked box for two weeks.  The crossing guards hand out hellos to the kids ... and biscuits to the dogs.  Really.  It's a place you can raise a family ...feel at home ....and plant some roots.  That's the plan.

So .... here we are.  It was hard to leave.  It always is.  We miss our friends.  That ... as we have learned ... never gets easier. But you can't win if you don't play.  And .... I think we won.

Happy 4th Birthday Cooper!

Happy, happy, happy day to our spirited, fun-loving caboose to our train!


Cooper has the distinction of having the first birthday in Ohio and wants to go to a movie.   A new release comes out today ... "The Odd Life of Timothy Green"...and I think we may treat ourselves.  After all, the baby of the family only turns four once, right?

If Harry Potter Were .....

three years old... blonde.... squinting... and ornery.

B/C States

All three kids swam B/C States this weekend on the campus of North Carolina State University. Emma initially qualified for Tarheels States ( a level above) but turns 11 a week prior to the event. Because she will be a year older, cuts are much faster...and she won't qualify. She was bummed.

But...she agreed to swim B/C on Sunday (even after a looong day at her Odyssey of the Mind Tournament in Chapel Hill on Saturday). It made for a tiring and mileage heavy weekend shuffling between Raleigh and Chapel Hill ...but it was a weekend of hard work, sportsmanship and making memories.

Swimming milestones: Claire swam her 25 free in 23 seconds! Her 25 back was 26! Whoo-hoo! I wish she had agreed to swim Sunday too so I could see her do 50 yards in those strokes... but she didn't want to. And I wasn't going to make her.

Grayson met his goal of at least one personal best...and he was in the top 20% in each event. His relay team won the heat and finished second overall. Impressive job...he even agreed to swim two days!

Emma had her last swim as a 10 and under.... and WON her 100 FREE!!! She took four seconds off her time, easily made a BB time...and seeing her name on top of the list was an incredible boon to her confidence. It was a great way to go out.

It didn't all go as planned... it never does. There were some disappointments in the weekend and things that didn't go in our favor. That's life. And that's one of the hardest things to teach them. Losing gracefully is a skill that will take them far in life. And... one they will get the opportunity to practice often.

So... we bought the (dreadfully overpriced) T-shirts and got some ice cream. I'm proud of them... for trying... for putting themselves out there ...for taking risks...and for winning well... and losing gracefully.

Big Decisions ...Mixed Emotions....

We have an announcement to make. And it wasn't an easy decison. We are still wrangling with the what-ifs, the logistics, and the sadness/excitement that comes with it. This probably won't be my most eloquent post... but it's honestly hard to get out a single coherent statement at the moment.

Monte has accepted a position within GE in Cincinnati Ohio.

The circumstances came quickly and somewhat unexpectedly. The resulting decision did not. Those of you who know us well knew that it was HARD to leave Fort Wayne. It was even HARDER to leave Illinois. And leaving Wisconsin before that took my breath away. I honestly thought it wouldn't be that way here. It hasn't been that long...we aren't quite as rooted, etc.

Then we made the decision. And said it out loud. And then it got harder. And the more people know, the harder it gets.

You start to realize that by leaving...certain things won't happen. Your kids won't have the same FANTASTIC swim coach that encourages them, gets after them when they need it ... and loves on them when they need that too. They won't ride the bus to middle school with the same group of girls that have been looking forward to it for a long time. You won't be able to walk next door and help yourself to chocolate, wine or anything else you need but don't have at your own house. The house won't be filled with the same giggling, scheming, shouting bunch of kids that you sometimes forget aren't your own. Your dog won't automatically have a number of playdates just to get some energy out.

Change is hard. And we have certainly had our share. But ... we don't like moving the kids. We don't regret ANY of it... and certainly all of it was necessary. We are making this move only because we will have to do it sometime. And later.... will only be harder. This I know.

I didn't expect to find it so hard to leave. It's hot here. Really HOT. For a looooong time. The school situation.... well, that's just WEIRD. And despite how charming Paula Dean is when she says it, "ya'll" just doesn't roll off of my tongue. But a lot of things work. And so many people have pitched in to help us along. And I've sort of gotten attached to them.

So.... here we go again. If I'm not currently able to put together a coherent "thank you" without blubbering... if you are reading this... please know how important, special, and essential you have been to our family. If there is anything that we take with us going forward to Ohio... it is that despite the differences in location, culture, weather, and school environments... there are good people (and good friends) everywhere.

Cooper's Christmas Program 2011

Most days aren't like this.

Most days ...he chases the dog, leaves all the lights on, leaves crumbs all over the house, doesn't flush the toilet, hides his socks under the couch, demands that he wear THIS shirt... not THAT one...and generally wreaks havoc. I sometimes wonder if that will be the legacy of this three year old boy of mine.

But then...there are days like this one.

Today he sang like an angel at his preschool program. He didn't have his finger up his nose. He was a good friend at his buddy's birthday party and even let the birthday boy open the presents. He rocked the sweater vest. He said the dinner blessing all by himself. He tried ALL the green vegetables on his plate. He let me read him the Christmas story ...two times because I love it so much ...and he fell asleep in my lap...smelling a little bit like boy and a lot like the candy cane pieces that were stuck in his hair.

Chaos may be his legacy... but so will days like these. And I am thankful for all of them.

Halloween 2011

Tired of buying four new costumes each year only to see them worn once and then discarded into the"dress up" toybin ... I dubbed this Halloween a "recycling" year. Each child got a five dollar budget with which to accessoriz their creative costume ... or they could beg, borrow or trade with another child or friend. As long as everyone was happy and didn't spend more than five bucks ... we could trick or treat.

I had no idea how it would go ...or how much whining would ensue. I am happy to say the kids stepped up and had great fun creating, re-creating, and mixing/matching their costumes to make some good projects.

Grayson wanted to go as Harry Potter and spend his money on black hair dye. He even (very creatively) wanted to "Trunk or Treat" at the church the night before and didn't want to use his hair dye yet, so he donned the robe and went au natural ... as Ron Weasley!

Emma found a bargain wig, dug out some funky glasses and tie dye sweatshirt and went as a "hippy witch."

Claire couldn't resist a purple witch hat at Wal-Mart, found some black makeup in the clearance bin and salvaged Emma's old vampire dress to create a "witchy vampire" ...without fangs. Some things are just too scary when you are seven.

Cooper didn't have much of an opinion ...so we thought it would be fitting to have him wear the "fourth generation" lion suit. Because it's been washed and worn so many times, it doesn't roar like it used to. Now when you push the button, it's more like a tired "meow." But it brought back memories of all of them wearing it at some point ..."roaring" all over the house. It's hard to remember them all that small. I can't believe it's the end of an era.

I guess we'll have to find someone to pass the lion down to. We had so much fun "recycling" this year, we might have to make it a tradition.

Happy 7th Birthday Claire!!!

Dear Claire,

Seven years ago you entered our lives ... and added so much to it. We thought our life was pretty full already but God had plans to bless us with the gifts He entrusted to you. You were and are the balance that we need ...the calm to the storm... the content to the discontented ...the giver to to the taker ...and the smile to the sadness.

We wonder out loud what each of you will grow into in the coming years.. but because I want to remember who you are at seven ...here you go.

You are the first to share....anything at anytime. Except maybe chocolate.

Your friends are important to you ... but not as important as your siblings.

You still play with Barbies ... and let me play with you.

Reading is a favorite pasttime. Learning to ride a bike? Not so much.

Dresses, jewelry, and accessories = getting dressed.

You wish school would happen on the weekends... but not start until noon.

You love trying different foods ... but defend your right to eat meat against your almost vegetarian sister. And no... it's not in the Constitution. Sorry.

When the older ones talk about college... I see how you react. You've asked if it's against the law to NOT go away to school. No it isn't. But we hope you do. Don't worry... you are always welcome here.

Happy birthday Claire....thanks for forgiving us for all the "middle child" mistakes we make.

Love,

Mom and Dad

First Football Game

On my "bucket list" is a professional football game. But not just any game.... it has to be the Colts... or the Packers. Coincidentally, that very thing is on Monte and Grayson's bucket lists as well. When two tickets came available to see the Pack play here in Carolina, let's just say I took one for the team and let the boys go.

I'm not taking it very well. But they are having a blast and I am happy for them. Mostly.

In the spirit of full disclosure, had the game been at Lambeau... or in Indy...I would have rigged the straw game.

Happy 3rd Birthday Cooper!

It happens...just as you know it will...just as they say it will...but it sneaks up on you just the same.

They grow up.

Even the baby.

This birthday follows a whirlwind of developmental milestones...the ones in Dr. Sear's books...potty trained, sleeping in a regular bed, riding a tricycle, going to preschool, conversing in full paragraphs, using regular utensils and cups, etc.

But for me, it is the milestones that SHOULD be in the books that are the most functional ...and those are also completely valid (and selfish) reasons we love our new three year old....

1. He can finally tell me where I left my keys (or where he put them).

2. He can rat on who REALLY made the stain on the carpet (and what it is).

3. He can get up, go to the bathroom and unwrap a granola bar and let me drink half a cup of coffee every morning.

4. He can finally make sense of normal movies so the rest of us no longer have to suffer through Barney and the Wiggles on long road trips.

5. He rocks the bowl cut.

6. He completely and totally worships the siblings...(that one came from the siblings).

7. His L's and R's are not completely fixed... so he still says " I yub you Mommy" every night.

8. He can contribute to the "cleaning up"... and not only the "messing up."

9. He can now go to preschool five mornings per week.

10. Did I mention he says "I yub you Mommy." I mean, really. How priceless is that?

Thank you to my dear neighbors and friends who brought "second generation" presents (after about an hour and half lead time) to our impromptu party and helped us eat Thomas the Tank cupcakes, shoot Nerf darts, build trains, and play Hungry Hungry Hippo.

We are blessed.

For those reasons, and many more... we love this three year old boy.

Lessons from the Pool

Dear Team Savage,

We looked for a neighborhood with a summer swim league for many reasons... the fun, the teamwork, the exercise, the skill sets. I could go on and on extolling the benefits. But in the "heat" of it all... between volunteering, practices, getting babysitters, etc., sometimes the reason of WHY we do it gets lost somehow.

When it is all said and done, it's the GROWTH. Your growth as a swimmer, your growth as a team player, your growth as a sibling (and mentor to the younger ones), and your growth as a player. Yes, it is at least as important to learn how to BE coached than how TO coach. Because in life, you end up being coached a lot more often than the other way around.

It's about our growth too... as parents. It's learning how to juggle things so that there are enough volunteers to run a meet. Even when I would rather it in the air-conditioning at home. It's about being hospitable hosts and sportsmanlike in wins and losses.

Because you are watching. And learning. And growing. And swimming.

Girl Scout Camp

It's the first day of a seven week trackout.

The girls are off to Girl Scout day camp.

Claire is beyond excited.

Emma is mildly annoyed Claire is old enough to join her.

Cooper got out his canteen and was upset he wasn't invited.

Grayson is bored.

I think we may need to plan a vacation from our vacation.

Two Hours Till Summer Break....

Yes, we go to a year round school. Yes, we've had three trackouts already. Yes, this year we get an actual summer too. Due to changing our elementary track to all kids on track four, the kids get seven weeks off ....starting in two hours.

So, it's official... a fifth grader, third grader, first grader, and preschooler. Not for the faint of heart.

The mood was somber this morning. The kids all voluntarily made cards and packed special treats for their teachers. Emma's teacher is having a baby then taking a year off so by the time she returns, Emma will be in middle school. Bittersweet.

It's always both exciting and heartbreaking to see the attachments they make.

Swimteam has started. That helps keep them busy...and we plan to roadtrip back to Indiana and Illinois. A beachhouse trip may be in the works as well, depending on work factors.

Memory-making in the works.

Let the summer begin!

Backblogging... Easter Sunday at the Beach

Again.... I am behind. No excuses.

This Easter Monte was away on a business trip and it was HOT. The kids and I went to church then decided to hit the road and see how many other people decided to hide their eggs in the sand. We had a lovely time... though I am fairly certain if God had given us an 11th commandment, it would have gone something like this ....

"Thou shalt NOT eat McDonald's on Easter Sunday!"

But we did. Twice.

I justified it this way... Mama was making memories... not sandwiches.

Arrrgghh.... the Two's Room Be Over ....

It's the last week of preschool for the year. Sniff.

Cooper is wrapping up his 2 yr old year with Pirate Week.

I love preschool. It allows me to go to work and be my "pre-children" self for a few hours a week. But more than that, it allows my kids to grow, and be active, and learn, and become more independent. Plus, they get to do all kinds of fun things that I don't have the creative spark (or patience) to do. Homemade bird feeders and tye-dye? Those are "preschool only" activities. After all, what fun would Ms. J and Ms. L have if all of you had "already done that" at home?

This two year old class was a big gamble. Cooper had just turned two, we had just moved, and I was still grieving the loss of the "known" preschool at home. But I believe God left that ONE opening just for us... and He knew what we needed.

Cooper and I fell in love with the preschool... the entire staff. It's now our church home. It's gone from "the new" to "the known" and we are thankful for what it has given us. I just hope they don't expect any tye-dye coffee filter projects over the summer....

Daddy Envy

Admittedly, there are numerous things that I just don't fully comprehend. Gravity, nuclear power, middle eastern politics, people who don't like chocolate, red wine drinkers... and the whole and all-encompassing power of the DADDY.

At our house, I can spend the ENTIRE day throwing balls, cutting out playdough, baking cookies and speaking in all of the voices from Wonder Pets....but when the DADDY walks through the door...all bets are off. When he asks them what they did all day, they (often) shrug their collective shoulders and say "....nothing."

WHAT?!

It doesn't even start when he walks in the door. Often it starts when they spot his car, hear the garage door, or (God forbid) read the clock on the microwave that indicates he MIGHT be home soon. The looks on their faces when they see him reminds me of the looks in the kids' faces when they finally reached Willie Wonka's chocolate factory. Every day.

Don't get me wrong... I love that they love him. I don't blame them. He is a FAN-tastic daddy and lots of fun. He has endless patience for multiple books, lengthy backscratches, tickle contests and pillow fights. Of course, he doesn't need to race downstairs to answer emails about donations for school projects, RSVP to birthday parties, organize carpool or arrange playdates.

He doesn't covet bedtime like I do... maybe because he hasn't been with a two year old for the past 10 hours. Or because he hasn't done homework, cleaned out backpacks, assigned chores, signed consent forms, and found and laundered the class shirts that have to be worn on the field trip the next day. Before dinner.

I thought this phenomena was unique to my house. Until I mentioned it to my friends... and neighbors. It turns out this Daddy-Mania is an epidemic sweeping the nation. 9/10 families "surveyed" feel like the mom is consistently the taskmaster while Daddy tends to be "the fun parent." In fact, several people noted a recent episode of Modern Family that addresses this very issue. I am going to find that on Hulu for sure.

And while we love and are eternally grateful for our partners and the support they give us..and again, we are not suggesting we trade places with the Daddys....all moms I spoke with said they would just LOVE to be welcomed home after grocery shopping by their children with a rapture-like chorus of "MOMMY'S HOME." Instead of the usual ...." Did you ONLY buy the healthy cereal?"

So come one fellas... give us the secret. What's in that Daddy mojo? Can we get just a little bit of it?

Until then....I guess we will just say thank you to the Daddys in our lives, accept our fate, and chuck it up to "things we'll never fully understand."

Happy 8th Birthday Grayson!!!

It's funny how some years just seem to have a large amount of change built into them. Some birthdays are just milemarkers that tell you just how fast time has gone... and how your children are morphing into more self-reliant people. Smarter, more independent, more self-assured, with a sense of humor that is more and more unique to them.

From seven to eight has been a year like that for you. We are excited to watch your soccer games, swim meets and neighborhood football scrimmages. Your brother idolizes your every move.. and (most of the time) you are very patient with him. You are a good friend ... and the group of you is always good for a laugh. And a pile of empty food wrappers. And dirty laundry.

When you read this, who knows how old you will be... and if you will even care what you were like at age eight. But I care... and I want to remember. So here we go.

You...

*love music

* are taking guitar lessons

*can swim competitively

*love soccer but not sure if you want to do it in a structured league

* like your hair longer than I like it

* live to play outside with your friends

*are best friends with your siblings...mostly

* can eat an infinite number of tacos at Taco Bell

*are reading the Harry Potter series

*are starting to notice girls... but not "liking them"...

*would sooner have a limb amputated than do homework

*read Sports Illustrated for Kids cover to cover

*would live at the beach if you could

We love you and are so proud of you. Happy 8th birthday buddy!

Mom and Dad