My Response to "What's It Like to Have (Four) Kids?" ...

This question has come up more than once... and most recently this weekend. A happily married YOUNG acquaintance and I were having a conversation about kids. When to have them, how many to have, etc. AS IF you can schedule that kind of thing. Which you can't. Unless you are my friend Nicole. Anyway.

She asked me this question - "What's it like to have four kids?"

I don't know if she meant "having kids in general" or "having four kids." Personally, I think if you answer the "having kids" part ... "four kids" is just the same ... only more. Obviously.

I gave her some glib, off the cuff response. Even if I could think on my feet (which I can't), it's pretty hard to explain ... especially to someone who's never done it. Here's what I wish I would have told her.

Having kids is really just a study in contradictions. It can ... and will ... bring out both the best and worst in you. They can ... and will ... bring you both soul-bursting joy and the gut-wrenching pain. It's potentially the only journey you take not knowing anything about the route you will go.

There is little to no training, you're on duty 24/7 for the rest of your life, and there is no monetary reward. And, unfortunately, there are no do-overs if you screw up. Just apologies. And therapy.

Having children makes you stop and be more aware of things you weren't before: rainbows, roly-polys and mudpuddles. You also become obsessive about things you hadn't cared less about prior ... immunizations, chemicals in plastic bottles, and power lines.

Children can be ... and often are ... the links that connect you to the best friends you've ever had in your life. They are also the reason you invite those friends to have a glass (or bottle) of wine with you.

Certain things become endless ... diapers, laundry, dishes, meal preparations ... worry, pride, and love. "How to solve world peace" and "Who does she sit by at lunch?" become equally important. Absurdly.

Children somehow change you into someone you never saw yourself becoming... a multi-tasking, schedule juggling, laundry-doing, homework-helping, baby-food making woman committed to making sure everyone has enough exercise, snacks, friends, clean sheets and self-esteem to make it through the day. It's up to you to make sure you like that person too.

Certain things become priceless: clean air, pure water and freedom ... hand-picked dandelions, the smell of sun-kissed hair, the sounds of siblings giggling after the lights have gone off, and family movie night. With popcorn.

Your heart will soar with contests won, tests aced, and party invitations. It will break with team try-outs, "She won't play with me," and the death of a pet.

There will be days you go to bed each night thinking - "Do I really HAVE to do this again tomorrow?" But more often, you will go to bed asking yourself "Do I really GET to do this again tomorrow?"

I wish I could have told her that. But she'll find out. Soon enough. And all on her own.